


Her last goodbye

by Dell_Anne_Raye



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-16
Updated: 2019-04-24
Packaged: 2020-01-14 23:06:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18486292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dell_Anne_Raye/pseuds/Dell_Anne_Raye
Summary: Fem Shepard leaves goodbyes for the crew





	1. Chapter 1

 

Chapter one: Kaiden alenko (Romanced)

 

**_(Female Shepard romanced Kaiden in ME1; Garrus in ME2 and Kaiden in ME3)_ **

  
  


  Kaiden sat in her quarters staring at the bed they’d made love on only a few days ago. He could still smell her, flashes of that night flooded his mind as his heart knowingly ached for the life he knew was gone. He could still feel her, like somehow she was with him. His mind running over every syllable of every word they’d spoken to each other that night, how he’d finally told her that he loved her, how amazing he felt when she said it back. He remembered the feel of her as they’d made love. How their biotics meshed. He drew in a ragged breath, he didn’t think he could overcome her second death, the first one had almost killed him. 

 

   He’d always known that if she had to she’d give her life to end the reapers threat, though that gave him little comfort now in the wake of its aftermath. 

 

     Sitting at her desk he opened her tablet, looking for pictures of them together. He came across a video she’d made and labeled “my love”. Curiosity won out so he opened it, there her image came into view, her eyes showed her exhaustion, her worry and her passion all mixed in that cobalt blue that made her eyes. 

 

  “Kaiden, I know that if you are seeing this, you’re dealing with my death again. I wanted to make it back, tonight meant everything to me. I’ve always loved you. I don’t want to hash out the past, Garrus was there for me when I needed someone, let it go please?” Her face pleaded, her red hair loose long and hanging over her shoulder. 

 

  “You’ll make an excellent Spectre, I know you’re better than I am. I saw the box, with the note in your pocket, just so you know I would’ve said yes. It is a beautiful ring. Don’t use me as a reason to give up, go on know I’ll always love you. I’m gonna go a lay down with you, before we attack earth. Godspeed and all my love Major” she faded from view he’d planned on proposing to her. He’d wanted to be her husband he’d even cleared it with the alliance. He’d placed the ring on the chain with her dog tags that he wore around his neck. He’d honor her memory, cherish their time they’d had together, and he’d honor her idea of him being a spectre. From the start of his service under her command he’d had feelings for her, though he’d never intended on acting on them. Their first kiss on board the Normandy SR1 had come on the heels of pent up passion, passions they’d both denied for far too long. They’d broken regs, though by that point neither cared. 

 

  He’d had relationships but none of them had left his soul aching like she’d done. He had felt guilt for surviving the attack on the Normandy, the one that had taken her life, the first time. He’d heard her last moments on the comm link, heard her last words “I’m sorry Kaiden, I love you” it had haunted his waking and sleeping hours. Every surviving crew member had heard those words. When she’d turned up alive and working for Cerberus he’d felt the heartbreak again. He’d regretted his words to her, wished he’d joined her, even despised his lack of trust of her actions, yet she’d lovingly forgiven him. She’d given him a second chance and he’d always love her deeply. 

  
  


  “Farewell my love, till we meet again” his voice cracked with emotions he couldn’t hold back as he stared at her image. His tears falling without restraint. “You were the best of us all, Janie”. 

 

  Kaiden knew he had to restrain his grief before he was due to speak on the news, before he as the remaining Spectre announced to a grieving galaxy that Shepard, their hero had fallen in the fight. Not just the woman that he loved, but the hero they’d idolized, the one who had never faltered, but had always given her everything. A speech he’d never wanted to make, she’d become more than just a hero to him, but that was something he would keep to himself, that was personal. 


	2. Garrus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garrus

Chapter Two (Garrus ME 2 relationship, broke up in ME 3)

  
  


    Even though she’d broken it off with him, Garrus had known she’d loved Kaiden deeply  He’d known she was heartbroken after Horizon, and if he had to he’d admit 

he knew their time had been special but more so a comforting moment for her. 

He wasn’t angry at her when she’d told him she’d still loved Kaiden, he wasn’t the type.

Though he’d loved her still he chose to respect her request. Sitting in the forward gun bay, he sat stoically remembering that night,

in her cabin before the collector base. He’d never felt more passion, more spark at the touch of another than with her. She’d been the first non-turian he’d been with, 

and it’d been one he’d never forget. He regretted not telling her he still loved her before their last push on earth. At the time he’d told himself she was with Kaiden, that their time hadn’t been the same to her, as he’d felt. 

Their unspoken feelings hung in the air between them, in London as the war raged around them. 

 

   He watched the notification on his mail signaling a new video message from her, 

a final recording of the force he’d loved, respected and fought beside. He opened it, started the video 

and watched as her smile came into view. Her expression the same as their night together. Her blue eyes hiding what she knew would happen.  

 

  “Garrus, I suppose this means I didn’t make it. God, really had meant to come back.” 

She sighed “I never meant to hurt you, I didn’t realize my feelings for Kaiden were still so strong.

Seeing him get hurt on Mars, that hit me hard. I knew then that I still loved him. Doesn’t make what we had any less real.

Don’t be angry at him, he never meant to hurt me either. In another life it might’ve been different, who knows, you’re a great man. 

Please take care of yourself, left you a bottle of thessia red.” She chuckled “I should go…”  Garrus sat there stuck between all the feelings, the pain the sorrow and the memories, 

Turians aren't supposed to cry, or so he'd been told but he couldn't help his own tears... 


End file.
